One day I woke up, as the sun gleamed on my face through the curtains I had tried so hard to blackout. With no luck of falling back to sleep, I got up and opened the curtains.
Paradise was just a walk away, the beach, the sun, the people laughing…
Paradise was a walk away.
I slowly walked to my kitchen where I proceeded to make myself coffee, so I could sit by the window in the sun. I could watch the people as they continued throughout their day.
Today is an adventure for everyone, including me.
Was this going to be the best day of someone’s life? Or was this going to be the worst?
But did it matter? Paradise was only a walk away. No one can be sad in paradise right?
I slowly got up from my place and headed towards paradise.
Down the stairs I went, one by one. The windows shedding light through them as I continued.
Paradise seemed to be closer and closer, but why did my feet hurt?
Why was it getting harder to get where I wanted to?
I sat down, maybe I just needed to rest for a bit.
After all paradise is only a few feet away, right?
I watched as people passed me, laughing and giggling about how excited they were for today. Every time I tried to stand up again, I couldn’t continue, so I sat back down.
More people would pass going back up, and some going down.
The sun started to set, and paradise was now a night away.
I got up and headed back to my room, I had wasted a whole day for what?
Because my feet hurt.
Because I couldn’t get back up.
Because I didn’t want to get back up.
Because in reality, I wanted someone to help me up, include me in their day. Include me in paradise.
But maybe I didn’t deserve paradise.
Within a moment I was back home.
Why was the walk home so much easier? Why was it so much faster?
It didn’t matter because paradise was a night away.
So I sluggishly went back to my bed where I knew I would repeat the same behavior.
Because paradise, it was a walk away.
This is what it feels like to have depression in my eyes, every day there seems to be something to look forward to, but right as I get there the motivation falls away. Soon enough I seem to be “sitting on the stairs seeing people enjoy their days” and it feels like I don’t deserve to get up because of whatever reason I give myself that day.
Sometimes people with depression just need a little nudge. Include them in your “paradise” play them your favorite song while you drive, dance around with them, tell them a story, watch a movie, make them feel like paradise isn’t so hard to get to.
Paradise could be/mean anything to you.
Not everyone even knows what their version of paradise is, and that’s okay. Just know it’s only a walk away if you let it be, choose what your paradise will be every day, at whatever time you feel is right.
Because you deserve paradise.
The song vibe right now: https://youtu.be/66d_91MxT9c
